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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in kalsanadu's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, March 31st, 2005
1:09 am
blah
A day came and went
A moment came and than was gone
In a moment everything made sense
In that one moment, I understood
But that was only a moment
That moment is gone
And everything that was clear, in that moment are gone
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
4:42 pm
ANIME PARTY
I need to know who all wants to go to an anime party:
(this party is also to get those going to the Expo to all meet)

If you do, I want to know what times you have avaliable so I can set one up. Due to the distance, I am going to have to have it here. Since those here don't have a car to get out there; also the house is nice here and the owners of the house has already agreed to letting us have it here. As for selection to what anime we watch. Please provide input on what you want to see. I'll see if I have it. IF I don't (shocking as that is) well work something out. Majority does rule, but varie is sweet.

Current Mood: curious
Saturday, March 12th, 2005
11:14 pm
Davi back
I am so happy, I am hanging out with my best friend David Coyne. I have to say he is the much like I am only with an IQ that would make Albert Einstin feel dumb. However, like most great genious his common sense is alittle to be desired, but I love him so much. We have been watching Aura Battlar Dunbine; it sort of reminds me of those old Robotech, Escaflowne, Gundam 0083 sort of thing. The Artwork isn't to bad for that time period nor is the storyline. We are watching it in Japanese, of coarse, yet the starting story is a little confusing (even David agrees it leaves a lot of holes to be filled in). I am glad I got the full thing before I started watching it because I would have gone nuts trying to understand it if I had to wait for the reminder of the anime.

Right now I am letting David play Ninga Gaiden on the Xbox. He really likes the starting custom; so after we finished 3 levels of it, he wanted to start over. I am quite impressed with him. I mean, he is playing nearly as well as Travis does on his frist time, while Travis played the game all the time. I am giving him a few pointers; tricks Travis and I have found work really well, so I am sure that is helping him play so well.

I was thinking about hanging out with my other friend, but decided not too, for a few reasons. One, I am not up to watching old movies; two I want to be with David more, unless I can bring David along; lastly, she wanted to hangout tomorrow, but I am busy that day. I am still thinking about it though; I think I need my head checked. Never have I ever thought about placing myself on someone elses time. I tend to have either give and take situation or all my time. But never... trying to mood my life to someone elses like some dog when called. Maybe I am over reacting...

I hope Jesse, Amber and Lisa was able to find more players... if he had called me a few minutes earlier I would be there playing poker with them, but David called first. After I decided not to see our other friends. I hope those friends enjoyed the old movies. I wouldn't have mind seeing those, but I have seen so many old movies in my life I could probably acted out the screen on the movie as they were happening from memory.

Other than that.... nothing to new. I am out of a job again. I love being unemployed.. now only if I was unemployed with an income. I feel like unemployment is like a vacation your job doesn't give you. No I was not fired for doing a bad job; actually by employers where fighting to keep me longer, but couldn't do to the terms of the contract.

Well night night,
God Bless

Current Mood: Davi back YEAH
Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
8:30 am
extreme
This is like the complete negitive I could come up with in the way I live my life... but the other one is more correct... mainly the difference was I don't always get more than 7 hours of sleep...





You Will Die at Age 67



67





You're pretty average when it comes to how you live...

And how you'll die as well.


8:11 am
still on break


You Are 2 Years Old



2





Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.




Just wanted to see what the lowest age I could get, And it was a 2 ehehehe dare someone to firgure out a 1 hehehe. 37 was the oldest I could figure out.. but that was so out of character for me I didn't want to post it. Yeah... yeah... that does mean i can relate to being two as well... well more like 7 to 9 only because I keep secret (actually I tend to forget what the person told me in about a few hours if they say it is a secret, but it makes them happy to say it so I let them... don't really care about secrets). The difference between 7 and 9 was I like to play after lunch; where as 7 takes a nap. So I guess a 4 year old wouldn't want to sleep after lunch and would tell all secrets they hear.... hehehehe... Anyway see when I do take brakes I am really bored. I think I'll go back to work, I still have a great deal to do. I want to read manga more. :(
7:53 am
quick break at work


You Are 9 Years Old



9





Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.




I knew I would be young, but man I child? I was thinking more like a teenager these questions are messed up, I didn't even know what must of them were talking about. :(
?????????????????????????????
how can I give good answers when I don't even know what these are:
-CSI
-The O.C.
-Degrassi: The Next Generation
-The West Wing
-Tiramisu
-FAO Schwarz
or
-The White Stripes
????????????????????????




You Will Die at Age 85



85





Congratulations! You take good care of yourself.

You're poised to live a long, healthy life.





Yeah I get to live a long time? No matter how often I come close to death...
"I am immoral I have inside me the blood of kings. I am your reval no man can be my equal."





You are










I wonder how the color of my undergarments determines my rejected color





You Are From the Sun



Of all your friends, you're the shining star.
You're dramatic - loving attention and the spotlight.
You're a totally entertainer and the life of the party.
Watch out! The Sun can be stubborn, demanding, and flirty.
Overall, you're a great leader and great friend. The very best!





I am the sun too? That isn't cool... how do they figure I am a light to our world? I was hoping to be more like Pluto or Mars.
Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
8:34 am
coming to an end
Well, I am coming to the final days of this contract; you know when you should start packing, and clearing your desk so you won't be doing all of that on the last day in a rush. Well, of coarse, now is when I am asked to do a project, while I was asked basically yesturday, but wasn't feeling well and my head was spining to much. Well, I don't feel any better. Actually I feel sicker, I went to bed at 9pm and woke up at 3am (that is a lot of sleep for me). So, I would thought I would feel better, but I don't; I still feel disconnected from my body, more over I feel disconnected from much of reality again. I know I didn't take any drugs at that Rave because I wouldn't drink or touch anything by anyone. Than why do I feel like this still. It is so empty. The bad thing is with the last major project to do and know energy or drive to do anything I am freaked out. I can't even come up with measures of attack the problem. The computer I need won't work, nor will they let me take a printer into my office. I really need a personal printer for the work I have to do. I did it once last week friday. Only to be told that it was great... now do all of these.. more over yesturday was told... can you change this and that. Which now means I have to start all over. I don't get it, if it was perfect the frist time why do I have to do it all again. I really think people are fools. That or everyone is a genious and I am a fool because I like think in terms of logic and speediness. I swear so much of the work done here is just reinventing a square wheel to make it ever more square. So they can move it forward. It doesn't make since.

Why is it when I finally start to like someone, they like someone else? More nuts is sometimes they like me and someone else at the sametime. I swear these females are Crazier in the head than Casey. It it wasn't for the fact I know most males are the same way, I would go gay just to end this cycle of nuts and fools. Myself is going crazy too... Even those girls in my past that say I am the only one they like... have another person they think of; more over are the ones that tell me, "Billy I love you so much, your all I think about. I am so happy you are in my life. I want us to be together." Than say a few moments or days later, "Oh it is not a good time to see one another... I have another person I care about too. I love you so much, but I love him too. I want to be with him as well." Trying to make me jealous doesn't work. If I do get jealous, I am not really going fight to win their affection. They just proved they don't really care enough about my feelings, nor do they really care about a relationship; since they like someone else too and is "confused". No wonder God said, "I am a jealous God, you'll have no other God, but ME." (paraphasing) I am amazed he still takes us back when we have so many other Gods in our lives. I am like I'm not Jealous but I won't even take a moment to put up with this sort of uncertainly. I have tried to before; and I have reached a mindset that it is just rediculous. Saying other people are cute doesn't fall in this rant. I say other girls are cute that is just the truth. But how can you say you love someone is you say you love someone else.Oh it isn't the same sort of love? What??? I love my sister I love my brothers I love my friends, but no one of them would I confuse with saying I love my gf or my wife.

I am completely getting pissed... and I have no reasons why, which only makes me more mad. Just for some reason I feel like being upset about this. I guess thinking without having anime soundtracks on really make me think about things in my past that upset me and I didn't even realize it.

I don't know what is going on in my head. I feel like there is a reason my body keeps going into a daze, self detached state. For everyone on the outside seeing me, I am normal, foolish, jokitive, etc. Not at the least bit deteched. Yet, I am very deteched from everything right now. I feel like Lain at the end. I am here, I can watch, listen, love and interact alittle, but I am deteched from the world. The sort of detechment that Rai (she is so cute) has, I guess. Only this detechment doesn't spawned from up bringing.

I wonder if my body is going through a defence state right now. Only instead of walls sealing out the world I am sealed out of my own body. But what would I be defending myself from? I don't know. Is time and distance becoming to mentally draining? I don't think that could be it. That doesn't make sense... the distance can be holding hands right now and I question if I would feel much of it. Complete out there, I really need to get my head in the life race again. Maybe if I stop with the internet for a little while. Hang out with my brothers, though hanging out with my brother could be one of the causes of my confusion. I don't know what i want now....
Monday, March 7th, 2005
2:37 pm
spinning
What happened? I remember Friday I hung out with someone, who was it? I forget... errr... I think I saw my sister, but the whole weekend is a blur. I do know that Saturday I had a meeting for work; afterwards I went to a Rave, because my friend really wanted me to go. It was a real trip. I am more of a clubber than a Rave, though I love Electria far more than most other music, but you rarely hear much of it in clubs. I recall much about the rave sceen; though much of it I wish I could forget. I loved the dance and the music. But I really don't like all the drugs and smoking; more so, the weed. I did my best to ignore the pot. But that smell does make me feel sick. Afterwards, we went to eat. A large group of Ravers from the club was there so we basically had the whole resturtant to ourselves. I got home about 6am. I went to bed right away for I had Chruch at 9am. After church is when everything really started to daze out. My mind is disconnected from my body again. Not in a daydream state, but in a state where you feel like you are outside of your body looking at yourself do whatever. I went to Tilly's to pick up some more manga, hung out with my bro Jesse. Travis is getting pissed sense I have hungout with Jess so much and not as much with Travis. Well, I got home at 12am; and didn't get to bed till 1am. Only to wake up at 2:30am for work. Since my start at work I have been completely clueless to what I need to do and what I have done. I can't even remember walking around today. Total trip. I was only able to finish 2 books of Manga today. Faeries Landing 1 and DNAngel 1, which is good, because those are the only copies of those I have on me. The the two are sets of 7 books (about). Lord I feel like my body is not my own. I have been listening to the Bible and anime music as I do everyday.. and I know I hear it, I am feeling everyword, but I dont' really feel my arms move as my hands type, nor do I feel my body at all. Like my body is seperate from me. Those as I walk I feel the wind swam around my body. Like all my sensations are wrapping. I hope it settles soon. This sort of state of being isn't good to drive in:( well I wouldn't want to drive feeling as I do right now. To weird for me; it is like an awake state of deep meditation. Where the body and soul are together but apart. The mind is completely clear understanding everything, and at the sametime blank.

Well, I really need to run. I need to catch my ride home.
Personal phone number (909)291-1455
God Bless
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005
11:28 am
I AM VERY, VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY BORED
11:26 am


PPPPPPPPPPPQQQQQQQQQQRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTUUUUUUVVVVVVWWWWWXXXXXYYYYYYYZZZZZZZZZZ
P is for Posh
P is for Powerful
P is for Philosophical
P is for Peachy
P is for Progressive
P is for Proud
P is for Powerful
P is for Philosophical
P is for Pretty
P is for Perfect
P is for Playful
Q is for Quiet
Q is for Quintesential
Q is for Quiet
Q is for Quaint
Q is for Quixotic
Q is for Quick
Q is for Quick
Q is for Quaint
Q is for Quiet
Q is for Quiet
R is for Rich
R is for Relaxed
R is for Radiant
R is for Revolutionary
R is for Relaxed
R is for Revolutionary
R is for Radiant
R is for Refreshing
R is for Relaxed
R is for Rare
S is for Smooth
S is for Savvy
S is for Saucy
S is for Sensational
S is for Sensual
S is for Swanky
S is for Sparkling
S is for Strong
S is for Sassy
T is for Thoughtful
T is for Tough
T is for Tender
T is for Temperamental
T is for Tempting
T is for Tame
T is for Temperamental
T is for Talented
T is for Tender
T is for Thrilling
U is for Unreal
U is for Unreal
U is for Useful
U is for Unnatural
U is for Unforgettable
U is for Unique
V is for Virile
V is for Virginal
V is for Virginal
V is for Vibrant
V is for Visionary
V is for Vain
W is for Weird
W is for Wild
W is for Wonderful
W is for Warm
W is for Wicked
X is for XXX
X is for XtRemE
X is for X-Rated
X is for XXX
X is for XtRemE
Y is for Young
Y is for Young
Y is for Young
Y is for Young
Y is for Yummy
Y is for Yummy
Y is for Yummy
Z is for Zingy
Z is for Zany
Z is for Zippy
Z is for Zappy
Z is for Zealous
Z is for Zippy
Z is for Zippy
Z is for Zappy
Z is for Zappy
Z is for Zealous


11:26 am


AAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJKKKKKKKKKKKKKKLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
A is for Athletic
A is for Amorous
A is for Alluring
A is for Altruistic
A is for Astounding
A is for Astounding
A is for Altruistic
A is for Amazing
A is for Articulate
A is for Astounding
A is for Adaptable
A is for Amorous
A is for Athletic
A is for Amazing
B is for Bold
B is for Bewitching
B is for Brainy
B is for Bubbly
B is for Bouncy
B is for Bonkers
B is for Bewildering
B is for Beautiful
B is for Bright
B is for Bright
B is for Bubbly
B is for Bashful
B is for Bright
B is for Beautiful
B is for Bewitching
B is for Bewitching
C is for Cynical
C is for Crazy
C is for Complicated
C is for Chic
C is for Cheesy
C is for Cheeky
C is for Colorful
C is for Classy
C is for Courageous
C is for Colorful
C is for Cheerful
C is for Conservative
C is for Cute
C is for Cultured
C is for Cheerful
C is for Captivating
C is for Cheeky
C is for Comical
D is for Devilish
D is for Deep
D is for Delightful
D is for Distinguished
D is for Dorky
D is for Daring
D is for Dorky
D is for Deep
D is for Dizzy
D is for Dazzling
D is for Deadly
D is for Devious
D is for Daredevil
D is for Daring
D is for Dorky
D is for Daring
D is for Dazzling
D is for Delightful
D is for Ditzy
D is for Delicious
E is for Ebullient
E is for Energetic
E is for Energetic
E is for Exquisite
E is for Enchanting
E is for Expressive
E is for Energetic
E is for Earthy
E is for Expressive
E is for Enjoyable
E is for Exquisite
E is for Explosive
E is for Extreme
F is for Fantastic
F is for Freaky
F is for Flamboyant
F is for Fantastic
F is for Friendly
F is for Funky
F is for Frisky
F is for Foxy
F is for Fantastic
F is for Fun
F is for Fearless
F is for Fantastic
F is for Flirtatious
F is for Fearless
F is for Futuristic
G is for Gutsy
G is for Godlike
G is for Glitzy
G is for Genius
G is for Gorgeous
G is for Giddy
G is for Genius
G is for Giddy
G is for Giddy
G is for Grungy
G is for Grungy
G is for Giddy
G is for Giggly
G is for Grungy
H is for Hilarious
H is for Hot
H is for Handy
H is for Honorable
H is for Humorous
H is for Heavenly
H is for Hilarious
H is for Honest
H is for Hip
H is for Honorable
H is for Hyper
H is for Healthy
H is for Hardworking
I is for Inspirational
I is for Irresistible
I is for Influential
I is for Industrious
I is for Intense
I is for Intense
I is for Important
I is for Insane
I is for Impressive
J is for Jolly
J is for Joyful
J is for Juicy
J is for Jealous
J is for Jealous
J is for Joyous
J is for Joyous
J is for Jealous
J is for Jolly
J is for Jolly
J is for Jealous
J is for Jealous
J is for Joyful
J is for Joyful
J is for Jealous
J is for Jealous
K is for Kind
K is for Kinky
K is for Kind
K is for Kinky
K is for Kind
K is for Keen
K is for Kinky
K is for Kinky
K is for Keen
K is for Kind
K is for Kind
K is for Kinky
K is for Kinky
K is for Keen
L is for Legendary
L is for Logical
L is for Liberal
L is for Likeable
L is for Lovesick
L is for Loud
L is for Lovesick
L is for Luscious
L is for Luxurious
L is for Loving
L is for Loving
L is for Lively
L is for Liberal
L is for Luxurious
L is for Loving
M is for Marvelous
M is for Mysterious
M is for Mellow
M is for Mystical
M is for Misunderstood
M is for Modern
M is for Mesmerizing
M is for Marvelous
M is for Magical
M is for Musical
M is for Magnificent
M is for Moral
M is for Magical
N is for Neglected
N is for Nervy
N is for Natural
N is for Normal
N is for Nice
N is for Nutty
N is for Neglected
N is for Naive
N is for Nervy
N is for Nervy
N is for Naive
N is for Normal
N is for Naive
N is for Nutty
N is for Nervy
O is for Outrageous
O is for Outrageous
O is for Overwhelming
O is for Outrageous
O is for Outgoing
O is for Organic
O is for Outrageous
O is for Optimistic
O is for Organic
O is for Openhearted
O is for Optimistic
O is for Orderly
O is for Organic
O is for Orderly
O is for Overwhelming
O is for Odd
O is for Openhearted
O is for Organic
O is for Openhearted
O is for Optimistic
O is for Outgoing
O is for Orderly
O is for Optimistic
O is for Organic
O is for Odd
O is for Optimistic
O is for Openhearted
O is for Outgoing
O is for Organic
O is for Orderly
O is for Openhearted
O is for Odd
O is for Outgoing
O is for Outrageous
O is for Orderly
O is for Orderly
O is for Overwhelming
O is for Outgoing
O is for Odd


11:13 am
NoT wORth tHE ReaD
Ok well, I get to write this over again. I just learned that Crtl+"n" means start over. I learned this after wrote one of my books. :( oh well.. short one now..

I enjoyed talking with Nicole last night even it was brief and I have a lot of others I was talking to at the same time. I am wondering what to do about myself. I want to slap myself around and wake up. I want to have a clear path again. This is about girls. I feel like I have many masters, well not masters in the sence they any of them can tell me what to do, but I like this one and that one. I love this one and I really like that one. I am not with anyone as in physical contact and I don't think I will ever be with someone I want to be with for a while. I wonder if it is really lust. I mean I want to go out there to see these people and become there friends in person, but I doubt it I'll be able to anytime soon. I think maybe should search locally (southern California) for someone to like and stop looking at Japan, Philippines, China, Asia in general, Germany, eastcoast of USA, etc.

Just kidding. I really don't have to a care about those places.. though it would be nice to have and Asian girlfriend I could hold. Yet, someone that likes the same things I do is much better.

God Bless

Current Mood: discontent
Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
2:33 pm
Work
Another filled day of MANGAs.. I need more I read everyone I have borrowed in one day. I like reading books, but i want the story to continue so badly too. I feel like I am working on memorizing the stories now. I can really starting to get up with the anime since the Mangas are so much more in depth. Oh well.. that is just common knowledge. But I really want to finish and at least return the books. I don't like holding on to someone things for to long. Unless they're giving me them.

Well, My work day is over again. Another day of anime soundtracks and bible verses.

Love you all
God Bless
Billy kalson

I am happy that I found some Icons.... well at least until csomeone can teach mean how to make them. I like this one most because it has the Trio together... Three of my favorites. I hope i will love the Rooster when I see him/her. I am sure I will, since i love them all.

Current Mood: lazy
12:57 pm
reusing letter to words so lame....


SIRWILLIAMAFROMONEYKINGFRANKBILLYKALSONIII
S is for Sappy
I is for Irresistible
R is for Rebellious
W is for Witty
I is for Insane
L is for Liberal
L is for Luscious
I is for Intense
A is for Artistic
M is for Mellow
A is for Active
F is for Furry
R is for Rare
O is for Orderly
M is for Modern
O is for Outrageous
N is for Normal
E is for Enthusiastic
Y is for Yummy
K is for Keen
I is for Influential
N is for Normal
G is for Glitzy
F is for Frisky
R is for Remarkable
A is for Alert
N is for Nervy
K is for Kinky
B is for Bright
I is for Insane
L is for Lucky
L is for Lovesick
Y is for Young
K is for Kinky
A is for Ambitious
L is for Legendary
S is for Sassy
O is for Orderly
N is for Nerdy
I is for Irresistible
I is for Innocent
I is for Innocent









SIRWILLIAMAFROMONEYKINGFRANKBILLYKALSONIIIJJ
S is for Sporty
I is for Irresistible
R is for Revolutionary
W is for Wise
I is for Impassioned
L is for Likeable
L is for Lucky
I is for Important
A is for Altruistic
M is for Magical
A is for Athletic
F is for Flirty
R is for Rich
O is for Organic
M is for Mystical
O is for Outrageous
N is for Neat
E is for Enlightened
Y is for Young
K is for Kind
I is for Insane
N is for Neglected
G is for Gentle
F is for Fresh
R is for Rare
A is for Adaptable
N is for Nervy
K is for Kind
B is for Bouncy
I is for Intense
L is for Liberal
L is for Lovable
Y is for Yummy
K is for Kind
A is for Artistic
L is for Luscious
S is for Silky
O is for Organic
N is for Nervy
I is for Irresistible
I is for Important
I is for Intense
J is for Jealous
J is for Joyous







IS THIS THING RANDOM?

Current Mood: bored
7:04 am
Yeah MARCH
It's March :D No more written FEB for the rest of the year. Now I get to write MAR. HEHEHehEHehHhehehHhehEhhEHEHEhe. Ok big deal right. Honestly, I am happy it is March, because soon my brother Travis will be 23 like me, March 2 or 3... hmm I forgot... but I do have to buy him some anime for his BDAY!!!! well just so I have more anime to watch myself.

This weekend was cool. I got to hang out with Jesse and Amber at the SUSHI bar. Man, there was this girl there and we all agreed... It is now worth going there again just to see her again. I was literally left speechless. Jesse left my number on the table... She hasn't called me and I doubt she would. I'm straight. I don't need a girl I can't talk to anyway. I mean it would be a real bummer to have an amazing looking girl friend and be speechless all the time.

Yesturday at work was ok. Nothing to much. AND the start of today seems much the same. That is about it. Nothing to realy talk about.

Current Mood: No more FEB
Monday, February 28th, 2005
2:27 pm
time to go home
LOVE, SEX AND ROMANCE QUIZ
Name:Sir William Frank Kalson III
Birthdate:June 18, 1981
Hair:dark brown
Eyes:dark brown
Height:6'1"
Gender:male
How many true relationships have you had?:Four true relations, the rest just entertainment
Have you ever been in love?:I am, with my God... still looking for the one on Earth
What's your idea of a perfect date?:I don't care as long as I am with someone I like, but ANIME is a big bonus
Where's your favorite place to be kissed?:I don't have one.
How many sexual partners have you had?:define sexual partners
How many people have you kissed?:1 crystal, 2 LC, 3 Larissa, 4 Diana, 5 Siti...those I dated... now there was about 10 others or so I kissed out of boredom
Do you like to make the first move?:I never had too
Are you a snuggler?:I do like to snuggle, sometimes with friends
Do you kiss on the first date?:If the moment moves me... most of the time at night or when I am sleepy I'm more likely to kiss without thinking.
Where is the best place you've ever hooked up?:I don't know... church?
Do you consider yourself to be romantic?:I can be when I desire to be...
Are you an angel or a devil in the sack?:I am a Human.
Would you ever pay someone for sex?:NO
Would you ever let someone pay YOU for sex?:If they want to pay me... I wouldn't have sex with them, unless I was in love with them and already dating.
Do you keep your eyes open when you kiss?:If they are a good kisser... if not.. I open my eyes.. to look around so I am not bored
What was your most embarrassing sexual moment?:never had an embarrassing moment. But you can say I am very shy to be open with those I really like. And if my friend pushes me to make a move to get the other person's attention I can't (I wouldn't be able to begin with)
Have your parents ever caught you in a compromising position?:My parents caught me climbing a tree when I was a child that I wasn't suppose too.. I got into major trouble for that
Have you ever performed a striptease?:in the mirror when I am dancing alone in my room and getting ready for bed.. just because I am dont' want to stop dancing and I have to get ready for bed.. does that count?
How about a lapdance?:NOPE can't say I have
Have you ever received a lapdance?:I had a few lapdances, but that was Truth or Dare, and they did nothing for me.
Do you like sexual contact?:I do like hugs
Are you straight, gay or bi?:I am straight metrosexual, but I do make many question (even wonder myself sometimes)
Have you ever made out with a member of the opposite sex?:I had kissed.. dah... both women and dared to kiss a few men.. big deal
Are you a giver or a taker?:I'm fucking a boy.. so I guess I am a giver... or is this like what do I do in a relationship? I guess I like to share equally
What do you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?:Friendship, cute, nice, fun, sweet, conversation, anime (plus)
Do you think you've met the person you'll spend the rest of your life with?:I wish I could answer that... I do know I have meet one that I wouldn't mind getting to know better
Do you know who your bridesmaids and groomsmen would be?: Maids is up to the girl.. grooms... if still alive: I would like: Travis, Keith, Zack, David, Kevin, maybe Chris and Jesse
Have you ever regretted a hook-up?:I have many things I regretted for the moment, some for a few years, but I don't regret anything now... no reason to regret... everything made me who I am today.
Have you ever cheated on a significant other?:No, nor will I
Have you ever hooked-up with someone already in a relationship?:Yes, but I didn't know she was when we started hanging out. After we kissed she told me that she was engaged. I was like opps. sorry.. she than call the other guy and said, "I found someone else, whos a better kisser." I was like, "ahh cool I guess..." I felt bad for breaking up a relationship; if I had known I won't have kissed her. But Oh well, it was interecting relationship for a few months
Have you ever cried over a member of the opposite sex?:I have, every important relationship break up
Have you ever had your heart broken?:why else would I cry?
Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?:care not to answer.. I am scared that I might be an uncle soon or one day
Would you date or marry someone if your parents didn't accept them?:I have
How about if your friends didn't accept them?:I have
What's the worst relationship you ever had?:the ones my family and friends didn't like
Have you ever done anything sexual while on the road?:while driving? hold hands?
Would you kiss someone if you didn't love them?:I have to have some sort of feelings for them or I wouldn't kiss them, regradless if I am cruddling or tried (games don't count "truth or dare" "spin the bottle" etc)
Who told you all about sex?: I read about a great deal when I was 6 before anyone thought to tell me. I am not talking about Playboy or other porn, but science based books on relationships and sex.
Are you always horny?:I am most likely to be "hot" when I am waking up from sleep or when I am tired.
Are you a flirt?:I don't think I am, but I am told I do it naturally without thinking about it
Are you a tease?:Tease I know i do.. it is all part of the game isn't it?
Do you prefer to chase or BE chased?:I like both (equal): "trill of the hunt" sometimes it is fun to chase and other times it is fun to be chased
Do you prefer morning or evening hook-ups?:What is this "hook ups" is it like kissing, askign someone out, or more? If you love someone time is irrlativent
Have you ever pulled an all-nighter with a member of the opposite sex, and woke up in each others arms?:Nope... I never woke up in anyone's arms nor anyone in my arms
How old were you at the age of your first kiss?:June 22, 1999, I just graduated and turned 18
How old were you when you lost your virginity?:Dictionary says "only women are ever virigins" has to do with a thin muscle in their sexual area
Do you sometimes wish you could change that?:how can I change what I have never had
Do you enjoy being in a relationship?:when I really love them, and not just like them yeah
Are you currently in one?:No-- though there are many that like me; some want me back
Has anyone ever fallen in love with you?:Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.
Have you ever said "I Love You" and not meant it?:I love everyone. We are all God's creations, I weep when a bee dies, how could I not love a human?
Are you "noisy" when you get heated?:get heated? is that like get mad or angry? I try not to be, shouting doesn't help
What is your kissing pet peeve?:hmmmm bad breath; cigerattes, but if they smoke I wouldn't want to kiss them anyway
Do you think you're a good kisser?:I don't think I am, I read about it, when I do kiss it is like putting an "X" in the box. There are 5 main methods to kissing; just varie them. But I do live a lot of girls wanting more and telling me I am a good kisser. It is just mechanical to me. Now if I can find someone to really take my breath away, and she tell me I am a good kisser than I think on it. Other than that... either the others are just nice, or they don't kiss many people. I don't kiss many people as was asked early, so I can't say I have a great deal of practice either.

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!


Current Mood: Homeward bound
1:15 pm
WORK IS SO MUCH FUN


You Belong in 1977



1977





If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!




Current Mood: bored
Thursday, February 24th, 2005
1:57 pm
3 day weekend
I am so happy. I got my disk for my FSO classes. I been reading the thing all day. I love it. I don't know why, it is only a teaching tech manual talking about security and stuff, but I find myself enjoying it. I didn't even get a chance to read another manga. Oh well, I read 4 yesterday. I still need to read the Fruit Basket again before I give it back.

Other reasons I am happy, I have been listening to my anime soundtracks all day. I always get in a good mood when I pipe this music into my head. Oh and I found another Chobits desktop picture. I mean I had in on my computer at work, but I forgot I had this one. It is soooo CUTE!!!*feel like jesse for team rocket there (as well as a few other nut male anime characters)*

Work was easy. I pretty much decided I wasn't going to work today. So I am putting most everything off tell Monday. That way I have some work on Monday to do.

I thank my brother so much for waking me up. I was watching anime... on the couch.. I must have falling asleep seating up; because when he woke me up I was still seat perfectly straight up not leaning on anything. I not to surprised and can sleep anytime anywhere. I don't know how long I was out, but I felt so good when I woke up. I don't think I slept longer than 4 hours, but when you think I only get 2 hours a night at best... 4 hours is amazing.

I decided I can keep LJ open on my computer all day while I am work. This will proved me with something to look at randomly through out the day. SO I don't get to bored.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day I can feel it. I get to hang out with my mother first; hopefully I'll get to watch some anime too (besides what I own). I really getting into Gravitation (need to check my male side again) of all the mangas I am reading I like that one best... I wonder why that is.... I feel like Black Mage from final fantasy http://www.nuklearpower.com/ <<< for those that like read comics and videogames

here is a list of other cool links I read weekly:

http://www.pvponline.com

http://www.dorktower.com

www.nodwick.com

www.redvsblue.com

http://www.project-apollo.net/mos/

http://www.videogamedc.com/

http://www.thebricktestament.com/

the last one is legos acting out parts of the Bible. Young mind should be careful what they look at... some of the pictures are sick, even if it is in the Holy Bible.

Well, I am going home now. Later everyone God Bless,
Billy Kalson

Current Mood: it bounces :-D hehe
10:01 am
7:36 am
Why do people come to me for advice?
Hi ther, KaLi..

Let me straight to my purpose of writing this email.

I am so sorry that i brought you into the picture.. I mean, between me and Billy 1 .. I apologize for the confusion.. What i meant with my last letter to you is this:

I still can't believe that i have someone right now who is a foreigner (Billy 1), so far away from me.. I just want to be rational, think about things.. you know, the " WHAT IF " words.. Like: WHAT IF i chose to befriend other guys (like you).. Would i also have same feelings that i have right now for Billy 1 ? Is this just a cause-and-effect thingy that happened in my life ? IF i never let Billy 1 court me, would we fall in love like this ?

Aaahhhhhhhh... It's really hard to explain, KaLi..
Help! Help!
I am really fallin' for him.. But, marriage is still out of the way.. How i wish that he may know how i really feel about him..

KaLi, if we were courting, do you think we could have fallen inluv with each other like this much ??

Right now, honestly i have mixed emotions for him. Hardships and stumbling blocks are on our way. But still, i have here my love for him..
Well, i can't say about his honesty for me, to0...

KaLi, i decide not to talk to him for two weeks. Though i really miss him a lot, we need to have this " 2wks w/ no communication" as our consequence. We both have done a lot of things against the Lord's eyes.. Me, honestly, i talk to him much more than i talk to my Lord.. And i want to settle up things correctly..

Well, so much about me.. Thank you for being there.. I hope we could be friends till nxt life..
KaLi, the next email you would send me, it would be your turn to share..
God Bless You,
Apple253



Ok, yeah, I had a good understanding of the last one than. I am not upset that you brought me into you life. I am happy to have Billy Alabama as my friend. So you shouldn't feel a need to apologize. Confusion is natural.

Why is it so odd that you have a foreigner that loves you? You are a remarkable, beautiful, and kind person. I sure if we had more time to spend with one another I would have falling in love with you; just because of your faith and love for our Lord. I don't know how you would react to having other male friend overseas. I am sure your feelings for Billy won't really deminish if they're true love. You might find yourself loving other people too for other reasons: friendship love, family of Chirst love... etc.

A great deal of love is an emotional reponese to cause-and-effect. She is so fine. He falls for her looks. He tells her that she is cute (persuing her). She takes his advences as either wanted or unwanted. If she thinks something of him is wanted, or just want the attention. She will give him favor. He will than show and do other things to mold her emotional desire tolds him. She will do so, if she finds what he is doing is good for her. When he or she does something that is not good to the other, there is an agruement. (cause and effect). If the agruement is settled in a good manner to both parties, the cycle continues of woeing and binding emotional reality. Soon, your reality becomes a need to have the other in your everyday life. Than, a desire to have a more intiment relationship starts in. Some people mix up all these events, but the formula is much the same. This is what we call love. An series of cause and effect to bind one another to a state of desire and need for each other.

Much the same can be said when talking about the relationship between man and God. It is a cause and effect. God says, I love man, my creation. Man says, He loves me, I should love Him, but what has He done to prove He loves me. God, I will give you my other most dearest belonging, my Son. Cause and effect, in a very short form.

If you and I had talked in great length, giving my most value thing to you, time. You and I would have probably fall in love. We are giving to each other the one thing we can't take back, the time we spend with each other can never be reused nor can it ever be replaced. So since our gift in the relationship is time it would fual the concept of love, as we understand it.

Does all this make since. I know it is a very, unromantized way of saying it, but I couldn't think of a cold-cut the fat way to put it.

You love Billy Readman, what is wrong with that? God made woman, so man would have another to love. And b able to understand what love is. So they can love one another and love God more. With a spirital unstanding, not just a word... saying it... but knowing what it means.

Do you question Billy's love for you? Do you wonder if it is love or lust? If it is something Holy by God's grace, or if it is a lust in both of your because you know you can't have one another at this time. So that since of separation becomes the fuel to increase emotional longing and not love? Or because he is so faraway, you are safe to love him? He can't touch you, but in your mind and heart. You don't have to worry about the physical aspect of a relationship, because his arms and other body parts are on the others side of the world. Since you are in a emotional state of longing for someone you can't have, you are both in a state of not seeing people around you as protentials and self satisifing being.

He can't pleasure you, but by words and actions on the webcam, nor can you. You both have a limitor on how to show each other your feelings for one another. Thus, the need to pursue becomes an adventure of what can I do to get her to see me more than the boy next door? How can I get him to care for me across a planet?

I can go on and on, but I have to work too.... so I am going to continue on a different topic alittle. ok?

Again, you are very desireable, for many reasons, including those listed in my little speal. Hardships and stumbling blocks are emotional and spirital reinforcements to prove love. You gain salvation by loving Jesus, with everything you have. But to just say the word doesnt mean you feel it in every part of your body. The Holy Spirit guides you to do things that reinforces that loving feeling for Jesus and God. You have to have hope and faith not just in God and Jesus, but in others.

That is why LOVE, HOPE and FAITH are the three greatest of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Why after you all go to Heaven, these three will remain. For what good is tongues when we all speak the same holy language? or what is the point of profusy when all is done? Wisdom and knowledge I do'nt think will be of much value when all is gained and enlightened in understanding with Jesus in front of you. Love will be there. All there will have had Hop in there souls, and Faith in our God.

But now how does this effect us today? You can't just say you trust someone, can you? If you really trust someone, you are hoping they'll do the right thing, and you have faith in there abilities to do that which is right. When you are in Love with someone all you want is the best of them. So you want them to do good and right, hoping they do, and having a faith to know they will.

If you doubt, than your faith is weak, you have hope, but without the faith it will work it is pointless. Thus you unsure about your love, or his.You say "I can't say about his honesty for me..." does this mean he lies to you and desives you. His love is tainted by sin? Doesn't it just suck we're all human. Get over it. Take a lesson from the birds. Each one is much like the next, they flash their colors and dance around to prove they are better and without weakness. Yet each one will burn if I put it to fire. Humans are the same, we want to look our best for others. More so, for the person we are emoitionally atteched too. So, we do what we can to cover up our true intentions. We play the game..."watch the hands... watch the hands.. are you watching? Did you just see my friend just robbed your wallet?" Though we try to focus our efforts for a more rightous event. It is still a game. Until you are "checkmated".

Checkmated means... one or many people's goals have been attived. This for some is: "I had sex with her", "I got her to love only me", "I won the game", "I do, and we will be married and have a family in Christ". What is your goal? If you don't have an end result to a relationship or anything you will not successed. If you are unsure about your goals, than you are a ship at sea with no compass and no wind.

I am sorry to hear your relationship with Billy is weaking your commitment with God. If any part of your body leads you away from God cut it off. It is better to go to heaven without a hand or eye, than to burn in the lake of fire. Question, it is Billy that is weaking your relationship with God or is it you? Satan will play every game in the book he has to bring you down and best of all; he'll make it appear to be someone or something else. To cause dividsivion, among God's children, to make you feel guilty and doubt yourself. YOU ARE NOT PURE!!!! YOU ARE NOT PERFECT AND YOU WILL BE TEMPTED!!!! YOU WILL FALL!!! But why believe a lie? Only through Jesus Chirst the bread of life and the living water... are we cleaned. Only by his Blood are our sins washed away. You can act holy in the eyes of man, but if you are acting what are you to God?

You say because of Billy you don't talk to God? Why is Billy the object of your rejecting God? Is Billy your new idol? Do you love Billy more than you love God? Or is it because God loves you that you can love others to. If you are to be Billy's wife, one day, will you not be thanking God that you are loved? Will you not be say, "Oh God, thank you" while you are in the middle of passion with the one God gave you? Don't confuse reality or miss understand.

First of all, is it Love? Or lust? Sex is a holy thing done with your wife and husband in marriage. You should thank God for the body and for the chance to have a child. So you can grow and understand God's love even more.

I have to go, I really need to do some work here.

God Bless,
Billy Kalson
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